allthenotes | Early Evening

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Early Evening

hey, i'm sora! so i'm not sure which sleeping world this is, but i'm kind of looking for someone. there's no dream eaters here either, so it's a little weird to figure out where to go. plus, what's with these notebooks?

though, i guess other people would know, but i really have something important to do, so i'd like to get going!

plus, what is this place, i've never seen a world like this? what's going on?

[ For SOME reason, Sora is still writing questions, not particularly waiting for an answer. Some of them range from "how did I manage to get here? and "where's riku?" and then something about being really hungry. Feel free to stop him. ]

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[ He's not expecting the kick, so it lands squarely in his ribs and shoves him away, making him tumble on to the floor. He does sit up afterwards, laughter gone; instead, he looks faintly puzzled, at least until he works it out. ]

I don't have you on a leash. Nor do I want to. [ Seeing Mukuro in such a temper is certainly... A change, though. ]

[ Mukuro glares at him for a time. Oddly, he finds, the idea of being leashed is not unappealing. Hadn't there been a collar of bruises around his neck for a time weeks (days?) back. It's Hibari whom he can't ever conceive of being leashed to someone. And yet, his anger makes him say without thinking: ]

Perhaps you should reconsider the collars you place on others then.

[ If anything, that makes him even more puzzled, and he cocks his head, standing up and dusting himself off before tucking his hands into his sleeves. He sizes Mukuro up with an inscrutable expression, making to step forward and brush his fingers gently across Mukuro's throat. The bruises have faded, but the memory still remains. ]

It's only ever been you, you know. [ A sigh. ] ... What is this really about? [ There was something deeper going on. Mukuro had been much more emotional lately, more prone to outbursts, and Hibari wanted to find out why. ]

[ He leans away until his back hits the wall, sullenly avoiding Hibari's eyes. Thinking about the claims Rei had made, he can't bring himself to voice them in front of the very man from which his problems stem. ]

Nothing... [ He snaps the book shut and starts to get to his feet - in the process, forcing Hibari to step back. ] If you're going to laugh at me, I'm going outside.

[ He does take a step back to allow Mukuro to pass him, but he still doesn't look convinced by Mukuro's words. It's not nothing, and he has a feeling it's got something to do with him. ]

If you go outside now, you'll die. [ He reaches out to catch Mukuro's wrist to bring him to a halt. The pads of his fingers press against the inside of Mukuro's wrist, sliding up and underneath the cuff of Mukuro's shirt to caress the skin there. It's an idle movement, as if he's not really thinking about it. ]

I'm going with you. [ It goes unsaid, but he's not going to laugh at Mukuro. He looks up the small distance between them, waiting either for rejection or acceptance - and isn't it odd that Mukuro won't meet his eyes? ]

[ 'What is one more death?' he wants to retort but he bites his lip and keeps the thought private. The memory of those thousands of knife-like teeth gnawing at him, devouring his body, crawls uncomfortably through his skin. So much so that he grasps Hibari's hand without thinking, only to release immediately and tug his arm away. ]

Do what you want, [ he mutters, turning aside. ] Just like you always have.

[ Mukuro strides for the door without waiting for a response. ]

[ His fingers close on thin air, and he frowns at Mukuro's back, but he pads after the illusionist. He spares a moment to slip on his shoes and activates his box weapon, stepping out of the door right behind Mukuro. A hedgehog shield manifests directly above the two of them, blocking the ice spear that had been heading for them, and he huffs quietly, sticking close to Mukuro. The shield above them holds steady, easily deflecting the spears. ]

Did you think about the cold before you left? [ he asks dryly, curling a hand around Mukuro's elbow. It's noisy, but this close, they'll be able to hear each other just fine. ]

[ Unfazed, Mukuro walks on with the hedgehog above. He doesn't seem to have a destination in mind and he tolerates the hand on his elbow by seeming to ignore it. ]

I have one of your rocks. [ A single rock that would have been hard-pressed to stave off the cold. The cold would numb his thinking, numb his hurt, he thought. ]

[ He's content enough for the moment to walk beside Mukuro, stepping around ice spears stuck into the ground and holding more securely on to Mukuro's arm. He's cautious enough to not want to cause them to melt just by being near them.

This aimless wandering isn't something that Mukuro has done before, but it probably has something to do with wanting to clear his head, or so Hibari thinks. He doesn't know about Mukuro's talk with Rei, or the complicated feelings that he's the cause of. ]

I know they work well, but just one isn't enough for this weather. [ Not to mention the ice spears. He's worried about Zeph, and what this could mean for the boy, but he knows he can't do anything about it right now. ]

[ A noncommittal grunt from him and he falls silent. They wander for a short time until Mukuro drifts towards the monastery. There's a garden there, he remembers, which they can sneak into.

So he slips inside - presumably Hibari follows as well - and heads towards a spot ideal for having private conversation. It's somewhat open but that just means they can spot anyone coming well before they come within earshot. ]

...Kyouya, you said you had given your loyalty to me, didn't you? [ In another time, at a younger age, that may have be cause to be on guard. But Mukuro doesn't sound like he's plotting. He sounds tired. ]

[ He follows, of course. The monastery garden isn't covered, meaning that the ice spears continue to rain down from above, but they're safe from the deadly projectiles. At Mukuro's question, he turns to look at the illusionist, brow creasing as he tries to figure out what this is about. ]

I did. [ He's not on guard yet, but he's wary. Clearly this conversation is something to be had in private, otherwise Mukuro wouldn't have led them out of the house. ] My words still hold true. [ Is this why Mukuro has been so agitated lately...?]

[ Mukuro let out a sigh, largely unheard beneath the thud of icicles smashing against their spiny umbrella. He stares out across the monastery's sparse garden. ]

Why did you laugh earlier? [ The question is quiet, barely audible. ]

[ He hears the question and cocks his head, actually thinking about it. He'd laughed because it had been funny. He'd laughed because he couldn't ever imagine Mukuro on a leash, obedient to his every whim. He'd laughed because it was stupid, what Yamamoto thought about the two of them. ]

I laughed because it wasn't true. [ He releases Mukuro's elbow and folds his arms, huffing. ] I don't control you, and I don't want to. The most I can do is ask that you do something. In the end, it's entirely your choice to do it or not. [ After all, he has always valued freedom above anything else. That, at least, hasn't changed.

... Actually, there are a few circumstances in which he doesn't mind having control of Mukuro. But those are... well. Those are separate matters. ]

[ A stretch of silence, and then-- ]

What if I wouldn't mind being on your leash? Not obedient to your every whim, but content to follow?

[ Similar to how he allows Tsuna to order him around except not quite the same. His duty as Vongola Guardian is an obligation - an arrangement - but this isn't. It's a choice. ]

[ He's visibly surprised by the question, expression unguarded for once as his eyes widen in disbelief and his lips part with a soft 'oh'. It passes quickly, Hibari smoothing his face back to its customary neutral lines, but Mukuro is the first one in a long time who has surprised him like that. ]

I never took you for a follower, [ he eventually murmurs, reaching up to cup Mukuro's cheek in one of his hands. His focus has narrowed to only Mukuro - even the sounds of the storm have faded into the background. It's like they're in their own little world. ] I don't want you to follow me. I'd rather have you stay beside me, as an equal.

[ For some reason, he's trembling slightly. It's anxiety - not that he's aware of it. Mukuro reaches up to grasp the hand upon his cheek, breath coming short. ]

If I'm to be an equal then let me leave my own mark, however small. Please.

[ His eyes plead silently. Though he doesn't doubt Hibari's loyalty, it's for his own peace of mind that he wants to leave something behind. ]

[ It's always a shock to hear Mukuro plead for something. The hand over his is unsteady, and Mukuro is shaking - did Mukuro need reassurance this badly that he wasn't going to abandon him? It spoke volumes of how disturbed Mukuro's state of mind was, because if he'd been anywhere near his usual self, then this would have never been brought up. His eyes become a little distant as he ponders the request, but he knows his answer already. ]

... Yes. [ Mukuro had already left a mark deep in his mind, had already claimed Hibari as his in a way that would never fade - and somehow, he found that he didn't actually mind it that much. Maybe because Mukuro had always left him to do as he'd wanted. This mark, whatever it was, would only be a physical manifestation of that mark. Really, the only stipulation that he had when it came to Mukuro making his mark was that it didn't impede his movement any, or be too visible at first glance. ]

[ Mukuro grips the hand tightly. Without another word, he takes a step forward, head dipping. It's quickly obvious where he's aiming: the throat.

His teeth find a patch of skin at the junction of neck and shoulder, beneath the collar. They latch tightly and worry the skin, marking it with a mottled bruise similar to what Hibari has left on him in nights past. Easily hidden, but stark. Satisfied - and calmer - Mukuro takes a step back to survey it. He seems satisfied. ]

[ Mukuro would feel the way his breathing hitches, just a little, as Mukuro's mouth closes over his shoulder and teeth bite down. Hibari can feel the blood rising to the surface, staining his skin. The slight pain is far from unpleasant, though (quite the opposite, in fact), and he hums, letting Mukuro draw back without a fuss.

Instead, he reaches up with his free hand to brush fingers over the mark, a rather content expression on his face at the tingle that the contact brings. And Mukuro was so considerate, too, putting it somewhere that was easily hidden. ]

Admiring your work? [ It's a gentle tease, but he lets Mukuro look at it a little longer, before tugging his collar up to hide it. He leaves Mukuro to continue holding his hand, even as he drags the pads of his fingers across Mukuro's cheek in a light caress. ]

Now will you tell me what this is about?

[ He straightens with a sigh, once more looking away from Hibari out across the yard. Where to begin? ]

For some time now I have felt...different. [ His voice is quiet. ] I feel fear. I feel anger. I feel dissatisfaction. And I feel desire in a different way to before. It coils inside and rears its head whenever you turn away from me. I...desire your attention.

[ That's what it is, right? A form of desire. Possessive, feverish desire that isn't carnal or in any way logical. Mukuro does not want to call it jealousy. ]

I want you, Kyouya. [ He turns back to Hibari, intent, serious. ] In the same way I want Rei. I do not want your body - I want something I cannot take from the unwilling.

[ Hibari listens patiently, not pushing when Mukuro hesitates. Mukuro is being serious for once, which means that whatever this is, it has truly weighed on him for some time. He's noticed it ever since Sorrow had possessed Mukuro - little outbursts, more clinginess, fierce and sudden possessiveness... Little things, but things that Mukuro would have never allowed himself to do before. ]

You have me already, [ he says softly. And it's true - though he may leave at times, he always comes back to Mukuro and Rei. It's where he feels the most at peace, in their little solar system of three, without anyone else to intrude. Sure, he has something with Kyouya, but it's very different to what he has with Mukuro and Rei. Kyouya is family. His relationship with Mukuro and Rei... It's more complicated than that. ] You know I value my freedom - but I will always come back to you.

[ Wasn't that enough? ]

[ Mukuro closes his eyes and sighs. It's no more than he expects from Hibari. Clipping the man's wings will not earn him any favours; hearing that his desire is reciprocated will have to be enough.

He is unused to the fear he feels: the fear that one day Hibari will fly off and never return. He doesn't open his eyes, hoping that the insecurity isn't showing in his expression. ]

Let us return. It's cold out.

[ He has a feeling Mukuro isn't completely satisfied with his answer, but what can he do? It's the truth. So he acquiesces to Mukuro's decision, letting his hand drop from Mukuro's cheek to instead hold the illusionist's wrist loosely and tugging him in the direction of the exit. He'd release Mukuro as soon as they reached the exit of the gardens, his hand hanging loosely by his side, separated from Mukuro's by a few inches. Should Mukuro take his hand, there would be no resistance. ]

When the storm ends, will you come with me to look for Zeph?

[ He gives a minuscule nod in response. When Hibari lets go of his wrist, he very quickly grasps the hand again, not caring if it makes him seem desperate for contact. For any sort of small affection Hibari will give him. ]

I will watch your back, [ he says quietly. ]

[ There's no judgement from him, only simple acceptance of the hand in his. He entwines their fingers and holds on, muted contentment radiating through their bond; he glances at Mukuro briefly, before looking ahead. ]

I know you will. [ He squeezes Mukuro's hand, as if emphasising his trust in Mukuro, then falls silent for the rest of the journey back to the cottage. He hadn't been expecting this tonight, but he can say that he's satisfied with how it turned out. ]

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Early Evening

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